The Patients Sweet and Sour


Succulent juice oozed
Sweet and bitter, flesh still ripe
Sour for a moment
In future I should delay
For patience not my virtue

  • I am not following Tanka syllable count in the one below and I will be using words for style instead of in the correct context.
  • So…
  • Fandango Word of the day 25/01/2022 – Variation (Style of writing)
  • #TankaTuesday subject 26/01/2022 – Sweet and Sour (Subject/heading/theme)
  • Fandango word of the day 26/01/2022 – Hospital (Word included)
  • #FOWC

The Patients sweet and sour

She lay there in hospital her mind all a quiver, her back all sore, her head all cloudy. In they rushed. "Count down from ten..."

The sugar coated lollipop's words piled up in a line,
"Do not worry you will be fine"

Awake at last, my breath all a sherbet.
My mind a flurry unable too set.

Awake in haste, my chest is hurt. The sour apple's voice is being curt.
"Stop talking", "sepsis" they say all in a rush, my head still in a  pile of mush.

Awake just a little, a candy cane by my shoulder," you will be okay, your vitals are great".
The sour lemon in my mind repels and glares, "why me?" it asks irate.

Awake for a bit, mean melons are hovering,  "Get cannot lay for days".
"No", my twisted lime of a mind disobeys.
As I conjure up a black jack.
To hurl at his back.

Awake for a lot, mean melon does try.
My body aching a long sorrowful cry.

Awake at last, my family all there.
The kind doctors and nurses at work, ensuring my welfare.

A dedication to all the great doctors and nurses who go about their day with a sweet smile on their faces, whilst dealing with patients who may be a little bit sour… especially with the drug induced cotton candy clouded minds of those patients.

Couplet poem – The first lines of the poem are leading prose (non rhyming) and then followed by 2 sets of Octaves (rhyming on every couplet). No word or syllable count, no length limit.

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